We went to the emergency room last night, Gav’s body temp dropped to 94 and his pulse was really low. He was sleeping and woke up vomiting violently, when I picked him up I felt how clammy and cold he was. I started to panic, we unhooked him and spent the next four hours in the ER.
It’s amazing how abnormal things can become normal when you live with them long enough. I can do dialysis in my sleep, and sweep the reality of his kidney disease under the carpet so I can function on a day to day basis, but it’s these moments – when the world seems to stop and get hazy, when the reality that we are always just a step away from losing him, that it hits you how precious life is, every second of it. You think their are guarantees, promises, but there are no such things. There are moments, moments that are here and gone that you hold onto, and that is all that you can truly hold.
Gav is doing good otherwise…he is starting to take off on his talking and it’s so exciting! He knows all of his species of balls, football, basketball, and my favorite of his – “Bay”-Ball (baseball). He is starting to sign “all done” and “bird” and can say “Pop Pop”, which just makes my dad fall even deeper under Gav’s control! It’s so funny to watch him because he is just like a little bundle of love and is starting to like some independence, as long as you are still watching him. He’s starting to do the push hands away, “I can do this myself” business. He’s trying to explore just about everything, so we are getting to see a lot of that hot headed temper of his.
Gavy wanted to give a shout out to his buddy Gino who is now on Milwaukee Channel 12…just proves that good things happen to great people!
Lauren is busy teaching me about life from her four years of experience. In our neighborhood, the kids “ghost” houses (the kids run around and ring the door bell and leave candy and you hang the ghost in the window). When the door bell rang, Lulu meandered down to see who it was and I told her we got ghosted. She looked at me and put her hands on her hip and said “did they ring the doorbell and run?” I told her, “Yes Lauren, and they left this bag of candy.” Lulu said, “Mom, (sigh) that’s ding dong ditch (she turns and goes back upstairs thinking about all the ways that her mom doesn’t get it).”
She is starting to get interested in handwriting and has officially written the word MOM which is very exciting. We have the letters down, P, M, O and L and somewhat a U.
She got to ride Rosie (my mom’s horse) this week so we are on the we don’t need a pony detox.
With Halloween right around the corner, I have to admit I am just a smidge bitter that we aren’t on the road to recovery and still sitting without a date. We go in for labs next week Monday and hopefully we will learn more about that. We also go for his wrist follow up, so hopefully that all healed well seeing how Gav was pretty much not into wearing the splint.
For Halloween, Gav is wearing an Elmo costume and Lauren will be the princess that she is, Cinderella. It’s fun to see her getting excited for trick or treat, but she has already started drawing pictures of Santa and looking at the doll catalogs in the mail.