So we have been playing roulette with Gav’s transplant dates… We went from Dec 28th, to Jan 17th, to Jan 31st to Feb 21 and now, we are finally set on January 3, 2008. We had to make some more adjustments, apparently there was a misunderstanding, and we will still be doing an open nephrectomy so we were juggling surgeons schedules (imagine trying to coordinate two operating rooms, three surgeons and two specialists).

I have been having some anxiety with transplant since now I have seen my organs in 3D (which all the medical people think is so cool, but is freaky when you see your organs rotating on screen, “as if they cut me and I was looking up through my feet”) and they told me that I most likely will be losing a rib on my right side (very Hollywood). More anxiety piled on top of that when they showed me that Gav will have an incision all the way vertically down his chest – so there’s been some sleepless nights.

I can’t believe that we have to do all of this to make him healthy. It just seems so bizarre because when I see him, I don’t think of how sick he really is. I see this little bubbly, cuddly, happy baby. I feel like everyone must be crazy (but as usual, everyone is sane, I’m just crazy). It was the first time that I ever started crying in a doctor’s office since he was in the NICU, when all the transplant information came at me like someone was throwing tomatoes at me. It just has to happen this time, I just can’t take another bump, I just want him to feel good, if we have to do this, then let’s do it!

Gav has been trying so hard to stand. He has gotten himself into a pike position but can’t quite balance that belly to stand up independently (he can stand by pushing off of objects or people). I love that he is in the stage where any kind of “Boo Boo” can be fixed with Mama’s kiss. He would crawl through the whole room for a kiss on his “Boo Boo” and then instantly, he is okay. That and Beyonce’ he loves that perfume commercial (but who doesn’t love a little Beyonce’ in their lives?) He is obsessed with helping me with the laundry and is fascinated when he sees the water pour in, one of these days he might tip himself right in there. He currently has a sinus infection and may have renal rickets (a bone disease that should remedy itself post transplant) and has been complaining about wrist pain. Every time that he sees Santa he says “Ho, Ho”. (I’ve tried to get him to the ho, ho, ho – but he won’t do the third, perfectionism I know on my part, but it’s just not the same without the third). Christmas has brought back the word “mine” to his vocab and he has to make sure that Lauren knows what is his…it’s great because he has an awesome new pouty face that I like to watch when he has to share.

Lauren on the other hand is having some restless nights “because I can’t get Christmas out of my head” (insert two hands on head and her trying to shake it out). We went to get her hair cut before transplant because Jay can manage a pony tail, but that’s where it ends so we wanted to make it simple for everyone. It was her first haircut ever and the hairdresser treated her like a princess (now we have many requests for a little pamperin’ at the salon). Most mom’s have first hair cut bags with little wisps, I have a baggie with like a five inch strand of curly hair.

She has been wonderful through Gav’s vomiting (it’s been heavy and frequent again unfortunately), one night when he started at 2:30 a.m. she stood straight up in bed (of course she had snuck in by us), threw her hands out and told Jay and I not to worry, “I’m a professional” and went to go get us towels and help out. I can tell that she is getting hip to all this medical stuff now. She needs things “stat” and any question that Jay and I can’t answer she tells us “to call the Dr. on call”.

Thank you all for all of your prayers, we will need them once again on the 3rd. We feel so blessed to have yet another Christmas all together and know how lucky we are. Thank you for your support, 2008 is going to be yet another miracle for our family, may you find yours as well!

Happy Holiday hugs from the Winslows