The rain is befitting, since this is not the journal I thought I would be writing tonight…we got a call today canceling transplant, so we did what anyone would do, we ordered Chinese food. The fortune cookie said it’s easy to swim, it’s hard to stay afloat…we are trying not to drown, but like my brother said, “life is beautiful, but it is wicked today”.
They need to do another scope and biopsy of his GI to further determine the cause of his high level of eosinophils prior to transplant. I know it’s what is best for him, but there is an emptiness that I can’t help but feel, it’s like Christmas was canceled this year…and in addition to this, Gavin will also be sporting a new cast as of tomorrow, he fractured his left wrist (unbelievable, this poor baby)…I think Jay and I are going to just fall into each other tonight and just try to make it past Thursday and stay sane.
Hopefully we will figure this out and transplant will be the better for it…I can’t help but fear waiting, although Gav is doing good now, I see how fast things change for him, it’s like they just pulled the finish line and now the end is around some unknown corner with who knows what awaiting us…I rocked him a little longer today, and kissed Lulu a little more, may the end of this madness be near! I’m slightly numb.